mission: (not) impossible

So, this past weekend I went on a weekend excursion to the Seven Rila Lakes. Rila is the largest mountain chain in Bulgaria and a huge eco-tourist spot. I've emailed/talked to most people about it, so there is no need to rehash all the minor details. I will say that from where the bus dropped us off (I was in a group of about 50 people), it took about 4 1/2 hours to get to the summit. Now, seeing as how only my close family and friends are more than likely reading this blog... you all know me... I'll admit I have a tendency to be a little lazy. I'm definately not the outdoors-y type. But being here is about experiencing new things, and I figured this was no excpetion. When it was all said and done, I couldn't have been prouder. Not only did I hike 4 1/2 hours UP the mountain, but then I came all the way back down (which, might I add, was just as challenging!) It was an overnight and the next day, we hiked some more! Monday I felt like a pregnant woman, my feet were so swollen. But all is well now, and although I probably won't be returning in the next two years, I'm glad to say: I did it!

My last post was a little depressing, but I guess I will have those moments from time to time. I'm friends with pretty much all the people from my volunteer group on facebook, and in keeping in touch with them, have discovered that they have very similar moments/feelings. It's comforting to know I'm not just being a big baby. Even people who are older, have more experience abroad, etc. just get tired sometimes.

Also, I started my English course this past Monday. I was also teaching the past two weeks, but those students were from a particular class and were obligated to come... basically as extra credit because they did poorly on their finals. So Monday was the first day of the purely optional class, and it was open to everyone. Twenty-seven students showed up! I'm not going to lie, I was pretty impressed with myself.... until today when only 12 showed up! Haha. Oh well. I think kids are just going to randomly pop in and out.... which makes it kind of hard to really plan lessons.... because if the students don't come consistently, then everyone's not on the same page. I'm not too worried about it though. No matter what the situation is, it's just good practice. I really like working with them though. Some of the things they say are just so hilarious. For instance, today I had this tic-tac-toe activity planned where in each square was a sentence they had to finish. So basically, when they wanted to mark a square with "x" or "o," they had to finish the sentence in that respective square. One of the sentences was "I dislike..." and this one boy (11th grade) says, "I dislike... well, I really dislike my haircut right now." Just they way he said it and the look on his face cracked me up, and when I started laughing, he was like, "No seriously, it's really terrible. I'm just not happy about it." People here are just so frank. I mean, if it was me in a Bulgarian classe, I would have said something like, "I dislike tomatoes" or something simple. The kids here are actually quite honest though, and oftentimes really put thought into their answers.

Ok, well right now there is a huge thunderstorm and the lights keep flickering... so I should probably save my battery power because I still have work to do.

All for now.

By the way, here is a link to all the pictures I have posted online thus far:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2356343&l=22b97&id=4907118

changes

So, thus far, life hasn't exactly been a picnic, but it's been good. I am really happy with my site placement, and I think of all the places I could have been... Kyustendil is at the top of the charts. But... there's always a but... it's already starting to get a little harder than I anticipated. The job itself isn't that hard, in fact, it's almost ridiculously easy. Right now I am teaching what is basically summer school, a class that kids are forced to go to early in the morning on their summer vacation, and the students are great. Sometimes a little unfocused, but they always try, participate, and they have very sweet demeanors.

I just really miss my family and friends. I thought I wanted this big adventure, and it's not that I don't.... I just wish I had the people I cared about here with me to share it. Which comes as a surprise to me. I usually consider myself a pretty independent person. Two years is just starting to seem like a really long time. Then today my microphone broke, or maybe my computer broke, I'm not really sure just yet. I thought it was the mic so I bought a new headset (for a grand total now of 45 precious leva on freaking headsets), and it's still not working. Skype is my outlet to everyone back home, thus rendering the mic imperative. And of course there is always email, but it's not the same. It just seems like it's always something. And it's not even the fact that I've encountered these millions of small problems, it's the fact that I am inept at problem solving here. My survival Bulgarian is oftentimes not good enough to do things on my own, so I usually have to rely on my counterpart (the most clueless woman I've ever met in my life) or someone else who speaks english, and they will just put it off and put it off, because it's not their problem. There is just no sense of urgency here and it drives me crazy! And it's not something that you can change overnight... or maybe that you can ever change. It's just a cultural thing.

The other problem is that I'm just kind of confused as to why I'm here. I mean, the kids I work with are brilliant. And people keep telling me that the schools need native speakers like me to teach the children (because English is such an advantage in a very competitive job market), but the kids I have worked with are amazing. Even the "poor students" in my summer school class can have a regular conversation with me. So, it's kind of like... do they really need me? They've been studying all these years without a teacher like me and they're doing great! Half of the students are better than the teachers. I tried to explain all this to my mom, but it didn't seem like she really understood (no offense). And I would hope that I would bring fresh ideas and what not to the school, but honestly, I could do that anywhere. When you think about your teachers in the past, how many teachers does one remember as life-changing? One? MAYBE two? Every place needs motivated teachers. I guess I'm just starting to think that maybe I just should have just taken the summer to travel, and then come back and done grad school instead of devoting two years of my life. That sounds mean, but I can't help it. That's how the Peace Corps is! It's so exhausting. One minute I'm super gung-ho about changing the world, and the next my microphone breaks and I have a melt-down. It's this crazy roller-coaster of emotions. Quite draining, really.

Plus, I always figured I would be this totally different person afterwards. I don't think I will change at all. Which actually, is maybe a good thing. I think my service here will just make me that much more sure of myself. All my fellow volunteers have changed their "interests" on their facebook/myspace profiles. Half of it is to be all cutesy, but i'm sure there is some truth in it. I thought about updating mine, when I realized... there is nothing to update. My interests read: adam brody, history, pinot grigio, summertime, etc. And I still think Adam Brody (of the o.c.) is my soulmate (unbeknowst to him of course). History is still my favorite subject. Pinot grigio will always bring a smile to my face. And summertime will forever be my favorite season, with beaches and trips to West Palm.

And those are a few of my favorite things (haha, i'm so clever). Actually, writing about it just made me feel better. Which is astounding, because usually when I think about all this, I get really homesick. I'm cured!

Totally random, but to end on a positive note. (it's important to end on a positive note) I started piano lessons. I have had two lessons to date. My teacher thinks I'm a natural. Which, maybe I am.... or maybe it is due in part to the fact that while I am no expert on music, I have a little background knowledge. I did play viola in middle school, and I took guitar lessons for a year in college. I didn't have the heart to tell her though. I just let her think that she was a great teacher, and I, an excellent student. It's more fun that way. I really, really like it though. And now I have a key to the music room so I can go whenever I want. I might even buy a keyboard (if I can find one).

So, don't worry about me. I'll be just fine. It's just easy to get emotional when you have so much alone time and time to just think, think, think. By the way, I am adding a video to this post. One is of me and one is of my apartment. I recorded the one of me before I went on this rant... :)

oh my stars!

So this weekend was fun. Friday night one of the other volunteers, Shantay, came to visit me. When went out for a bit to a local bar/club. I was actually surprised at how nice it was! It looked like a place I would see in Atlanta. Plus, they played American music and the atmosphere was really laid back. The next day we went to the capital, Sofia. I really like the city. The first time I went I wasn't that impressed, but I think part of the reason was because I was with people I didn't really care for, the entire day was really rushed, and then it poured on us. This time was totally different. Really relaxed, and I went to a different part of the city that I really liked. I saw that movie, Hancock, with Will Smith. It was really good. I hadn't even heard of it before, but it was funny/sweet. I wanted to see Sex and the City, but the earliest time we could see it was around 7, and I had to catch the last bus home before that. Next time though. We made a pact to go to the capital and grab lunch and a movie or something once a month.


Anyway, half the reason I am writing this is because while I was in Sofia, I experienced the funniest moment thus far in Bulgaria. So before Shantay and I went to the movie, we went to grab some lunch. McDonald's, if you are wondering. I actually do not miss McDonald's, but we were in a bit of a hurry. There were actually some other much cooler restaurants there, but service in Bulgaria is a bit lackluster, to say the least. And like I said we were in a rush. Back to the story. So Shantay and I were sitting there eating our McDonald's, minding our business. Now, Shantay is black. I have to mention this point, because it is critical to the story. So, we are sitting there eating when a little boy, about 5 years old, walks by our table, but as soon as his eyes fall on Shantay he just stops... right next to her... and stares. The look on his face was PRICELESS. It was this confused and almost disturbed look, as if to say, "who are you and what are you doing here in my country?" Now if it was an adult, it would be offensive, but since it was just a little kid, we just started laughing hysterically. And once the little boy saw us laughing so hard, he started smiling too. But he still didn't leave. He just stood there for a solid 3 minutes, watching her, until his dad (who was busy carrying food and what not) finally pushed him along to their table.


I really wish I had had a video camera to capture the moment. It was one of those "you had to be there moments," but it kind of made me think after the fact. As Americans we are just so used to seeing people of all different colors, shapes, sizes, etc., but Bulgaria is really not like that. It's the most homogeneous population I've ever seen in my life. There can't be more than 20 people in the entire country who are not Eastern European. And the ones who are here probably work for the American Government. The whole moment kind of reminded me of that movie "Blast from the Past" with Alicia Silverstone and Brendan Fraser. After being stuck in a bomb shelter for twenty odd years, he finally sees the real world.... and when he first goes outside he runs into a black lady and declares, "oh my stars... a negro!" I guess it's just hard for me to imagine a world where seeing someone different would be such a novelty and/or shock. If the peace corps does anything for me, it just makes me more and more thankful to live in America, a place where we have the opportunity to experience different cultures and be exposed to different people. It truly is a melting pot, and I have never really thought about how cool that really is.


I guess that's all for now. I start teaching my summer class tomorrow. Wish me luck!