i'm about to go to bed, but all these thoughts are swirling around in my head... i must put them down! it would be so much more "romantic" if i was actually putting pen to paper. perhaps i should get a journal... but then if i was always writing in my journal, i would never do the whole blog thing. as fergie would say, i'm so 3008. but back to the point.
what should i do?!
so the whole moving to bondi beach thing didn't exactly work out. sabrina and i are supposed to be looking at apartments together, but i'm a little nervous to move in with just her, b/c well... her finances are not exactly in check. she's always kind of "getting by," and i'm much more responsible than that. i know my mom is probably laughing/rolling her eyes. but when push comes to shove, i know what needs to be done.
the other day claire mentioned to me that she and meghan were going to travel up the west coast soon. (*claire and meghan are my american neighbors). she invited me to go and at first i took it lightly thinking, sure maybe... but probably not. then i got to thinking.... why not?!?! as of right now i have absolutely no one to travel with. perrin and sarah are gone. they've been replaced by two spanish guys, who i'm sure are perfectly nice, but i've spoken about 4 words to in the past two days. phillip and james will soon follow... returning to the states and england, respectively. now if claire and meghan go... where will that leave me? alone, that's where! it's so exhausting trying to make friends all the time. i like meeting new people and everything, but at the end of the day i would like to have one reliable precense in my life. someone who will just go to the grocery store with me and pick up some ramen. as of right now, that just doesn't seem like a possibility. and as i write this i can just see my mother squirming in her chair/bed.... "hillsong people are reliable!!!!!"
the point being, i didn't come to australia to get drunk every night and work at a stupid restaurant. pretty sure i did that from 2003-2007. it was called the university of georgia. the more and more i think about it, the more and more i think i should just throw caution to the wind and go!
so what's holding me back?
1. money
2. i like living in the city and being familiar with the surroundings. i feel like a "local" and that's how i want to spend my time here. as a local, not a tourist.
3. i wanted to have a sydney base for if/when anyone visited. although, who am i kidding? no one's going to come. i barely even keep in touch with anyone. i don't mean that in an ugly way, it's just the reality of the situation. the majority of my friends from back home are just not as adventurous as i am. something like australia would be a passing thought and nothing more. far from a goal (and budgeting -- don't make me laugh).
reasons to go:
1. claire and meghan are cool.
2. i want to visit the west coast and now is the perfect time to go. (it's dry season and in a couple months it will be the wet season, i.e. nightmare)
3. i love sydney, but who knows... maybe i will love another city more.. perth or darwin for example.
but mainly it's the money thing. i've spent quite a bit since i've been here. but i also have managed to tuck away some of what i've made. i guess the thing is, if i take the trip... i'll have enough to go... but i'll come back to approximately $0. and that's if i budget...
it's not that i don't want to travel at all. in fact, it's one of my top priorities. but i wanted to have a nice chunk of change before i did anything. i mean, i've only been working for a month and a half. i was planning on working till december before i really started to travel. i figured i would ring in the new year in sydney and then.... anywhere/anything!
i really like claire and meghan though and not that i wont make any more friends while i'm here, but they would be really great to travel with.....
decisions, decisions! in truth, i'm still kind of waiting on claire to give me more details about the whole thing. right now, it's marinating. but i talked to one of my co-workers, dan, (quite possibly my favorite person there) and he's been all around australia. from darwin to cairns to melbourne, and more. he thinks it's absurd that people never leave sydney. and perhaps he's right. the more i talked to him, the more convinced i was that i should go.
this is getting long and quite tedious. it's mainly for my own sake, i suppose now everyone knows the inner workings of my over-analyzing, slightly cautious, wistful (albeit timid), mind!
run now!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
insert clever remark here.
normally i try to think of a clever little title. something witty. but today it's late, and i just can't. oh well.
anyhow, nothing new to report, really. just living and loving down under. i'm still trying to find a second job which is proving quite difficult. i went on another nanny interview the other day. i honestly thought I had the job because she sent me an email after the fact saying she was interested and asked me how much i was charging. i responded with what i thought was an average wage and added that it was negotiable. that was on thursday and i still haven't heard back :P i'm getting a little frustrated, because I want to make more money!! (talk to me harry winston. tell me all about it.) no worries, though. it will all sort itself out, i'm sure. everything else has!
so i mentioned a while back that i was moving to the beach soon with some co-workers. it didn't quite work as intended. one of the guys keeps flip-flopping. and the other girl and guy are somewhat of an item now... so the two of them being roommates is not exactly kosher (especially in the guy's eyes). either way, it kind of fell apart. but i love my little german, sabrina. so we are going to look for an apartment together and forget the guys. i'm a little bummed b/c i thought living with the boys would be fun... but no worries. i'm not in a rush to move. come august i might be though... all my roomies will be gone, gone, gone.
i went to the blue mountains with sarah and perrin sunday. it was sooo gorgeous. our tour guide was ridiculous. he told us his life story. (and i care, why???). then he would just ramble on and on about retarded stuff. exhibit a: he discussed the birthing process of kangaroos, complete with a lecture on the placenta. no lie. but it was nice to actually do something outside of the city. not that i don't love sydney... i do!! but sometimes i forget that there is a whole world outside of the CBD. [that's aussie lingo for city based district for all you NON-locals :)] i definitely need to do more stuff like that. i'm dying to go to the outback. some people have said it's lame and there is nothing to do, but when you think of australia, you think of the outback! it's next on my list for sure.
anyhow, nothing new to report, really. just living and loving down under. i'm still trying to find a second job which is proving quite difficult. i went on another nanny interview the other day. i honestly thought I had the job because she sent me an email after the fact saying she was interested and asked me how much i was charging. i responded with what i thought was an average wage and added that it was negotiable. that was on thursday and i still haven't heard back :P i'm getting a little frustrated, because I want to make more money!! (talk to me harry winston. tell me all about it.) no worries, though. it will all sort itself out, i'm sure. everything else has!
so i mentioned a while back that i was moving to the beach soon with some co-workers. it didn't quite work as intended. one of the guys keeps flip-flopping. and the other girl and guy are somewhat of an item now... so the two of them being roommates is not exactly kosher (especially in the guy's eyes). either way, it kind of fell apart. but i love my little german, sabrina. so we are going to look for an apartment together and forget the guys. i'm a little bummed b/c i thought living with the boys would be fun... but no worries. i'm not in a rush to move. come august i might be though... all my roomies will be gone, gone, gone.
i went to the blue mountains with sarah and perrin sunday. it was sooo gorgeous. our tour guide was ridiculous. he told us his life story. (and i care, why???). then he would just ramble on and on about retarded stuff. exhibit a: he discussed the birthing process of kangaroos, complete with a lecture on the placenta. no lie. but it was nice to actually do something outside of the city. not that i don't love sydney... i do!! but sometimes i forget that there is a whole world outside of the CBD. [that's aussie lingo for city based district for all you NON-locals :)] i definitely need to do more stuff like that. i'm dying to go to the outback. some people have said it's lame and there is nothing to do, but when you think of australia, you think of the outback! it's next on my list for sure.
----pictures to come soon----
met another american today. he works with me. from NY. i thought about shantay and how she'll be home soon...
anyhow, he seemed pretty cool. but he told me that he had all these travel plans and basically canceled them all last minute because he met his current girlfriend. GAG. i hope he doesn't regret that major decision...
and speaking of work, i have five shifts next week. that's the most i've gotten to date. the money will be nice... but the actual work itself will not :P just gotta stick it out until summer rolls around, and then i'll be hittin up jobs in bondi!
lastly. phillip keeps meeting people... and when i say people, i mean people he's romantically interested in... and i'm jealous. why can't i meet a cool guy to pal around with? i mean, he's leaving in three weeks, so his relationships are fickle at best. so not fair. and it's not just him. the majority of people i meet have a significant other. it's not that i want something super serious... in fact that's the last thing i want. it's hard to verbalise, but basically i just want someone who i can watch a movie with, go the museum with, etc. and kiss goodnight. if i see him, cool, if i don't, cool. nothing more, nothing less. is that so much to ask?! i think not. alas, destiny feels that it's not the season. my path to self-discovery is a solitary one indeed.
oh wait, one more thing. i'm thinking about going to spain in the summer. i haven't forgotten about Vicky Cristina Barcelona, and my need to follow in the footsteps of Scarlett Johanson's character (minus the whole love triangle thing). Note to self: Must learn spanish by May of next year. totally doable.
all for now. hope everyone's soaking up the sun (but not before applying SPF 30)!
much love*
anyhow, he seemed pretty cool. but he told me that he had all these travel plans and basically canceled them all last minute because he met his current girlfriend. GAG. i hope he doesn't regret that major decision...
and speaking of work, i have five shifts next week. that's the most i've gotten to date. the money will be nice... but the actual work itself will not :P just gotta stick it out until summer rolls around, and then i'll be hittin up jobs in bondi!
lastly. phillip keeps meeting people... and when i say people, i mean people he's romantically interested in... and i'm jealous. why can't i meet a cool guy to pal around with? i mean, he's leaving in three weeks, so his relationships are fickle at best. so not fair. and it's not just him. the majority of people i meet have a significant other. it's not that i want something super serious... in fact that's the last thing i want. it's hard to verbalise, but basically i just want someone who i can watch a movie with, go the museum with, etc. and kiss goodnight. if i see him, cool, if i don't, cool. nothing more, nothing less. is that so much to ask?! i think not. alas, destiny feels that it's not the season. my path to self-discovery is a solitary one indeed.
oh wait, one more thing. i'm thinking about going to spain in the summer. i haven't forgotten about Vicky Cristina Barcelona, and my need to follow in the footsteps of Scarlett Johanson's character (minus the whole love triangle thing). Note to self: Must learn spanish by May of next year. totally doable.
all for now. hope everyone's soaking up the sun (but not before applying SPF 30)!
much love*
Thursday, July 2, 2009
birthdays and brits
so i'm officially old. 24!! it seems like such a big number. i remember being 10 and thinking the teen girls were soooo cool. and then i remember being a teenager in high school and thinking the senior girls were IT. and then i remember being 18 in college, and the baby at work, and thinking 21 seemed light years away....
now here i am -- 24!! 24 is a hop, skip, and a jump away from 25. and 25 is dangerously close to 30! all i can think is... holy crap, i'm almost 30! haha. most of the people i have come into contact with so far on my journey have been younger, averaging 21. they have plenty of time to meander around and do whatever. personally, i feel a bit like i'm in limbo. most people my age have "real jobs," are married, have kids, etc, etc. i'm still wrestling with the idea that eventually i have to join them and build my own little white picket fence. but then i remind myself that there are no rules. i'm happy living life! meeting people, seeing places, experiencing different cultures... i can't imagine doing anything else anytime soon. i just have to figure out how to sustain myself whilst taking part in these adventures....
anyway, i would rather keep these blogs light and fluffy. since that's how i feel these days... airy... breezy... relaxed! a few new things:
1. we have new roommates. luke, sarah, and perrin are officially moved out. two scottish girls moved into sarah and perrin's room (the FL girls). their names are hannah and becky. they arrived on wednesday and went out with us for my birthday. they seem really sweet. although.... philip claims that becky rolled her eyes when philip and i were chatting in the living room. i didn't see it... but he seems convinced she was annoyed with our chatter. hhmm. hopefully he was mistaken, b/c we all had a great time on my bday!
2. my birthday was cool. very chill, but fun. we went to a couple different bars, including the very exclusive/very trendy "Ivy." it was mostly suits and other business-types. definitely expensive, definitely pretentious.... moving on! we met up with some of philip's co-workers. LOVE THEM! they're all british and fun and hilarious. especially this one kid, mike. i pretty much adore him. he's sooo precious. like a little teddy bear. he came out for my bday, and apparently it's his birthday next week. i asked him how old he'd be.....
his reply?
20. *sigh*
he's still one of my faves though.
sadly, i did not take ONE picture on my bday. i guess it's kind of the same reason i haven't really taken any pics around australia. i'm too busy living life... can't be bothered with stopping and trying to document everything. but i will try to be slightly more conscientious. i know everyone wants to see my memories in the making :)
OH, and i just have to note that i got some of the most random birthday wishes via facebook! like... people i haven't spoken to in years and years (from high school and earlier). it was nice, but random.
ok. all for now.
love you all!
now here i am -- 24!! 24 is a hop, skip, and a jump away from 25. and 25 is dangerously close to 30! all i can think is... holy crap, i'm almost 30! haha. most of the people i have come into contact with so far on my journey have been younger, averaging 21. they have plenty of time to meander around and do whatever. personally, i feel a bit like i'm in limbo. most people my age have "real jobs," are married, have kids, etc, etc. i'm still wrestling with the idea that eventually i have to join them and build my own little white picket fence. but then i remind myself that there are no rules. i'm happy living life! meeting people, seeing places, experiencing different cultures... i can't imagine doing anything else anytime soon. i just have to figure out how to sustain myself whilst taking part in these adventures....
anyway, i would rather keep these blogs light and fluffy. since that's how i feel these days... airy... breezy... relaxed! a few new things:
1. we have new roommates. luke, sarah, and perrin are officially moved out. two scottish girls moved into sarah and perrin's room (the FL girls). their names are hannah and becky. they arrived on wednesday and went out with us for my birthday. they seem really sweet. although.... philip claims that becky rolled her eyes when philip and i were chatting in the living room. i didn't see it... but he seems convinced she was annoyed with our chatter. hhmm. hopefully he was mistaken, b/c we all had a great time on my bday!
2. my birthday was cool. very chill, but fun. we went to a couple different bars, including the very exclusive/very trendy "Ivy." it was mostly suits and other business-types. definitely expensive, definitely pretentious.... moving on! we met up with some of philip's co-workers. LOVE THEM! they're all british and fun and hilarious. especially this one kid, mike. i pretty much adore him. he's sooo precious. like a little teddy bear. he came out for my bday, and apparently it's his birthday next week. i asked him how old he'd be.....
his reply?
20. *sigh*
he's still one of my faves though.
sadly, i did not take ONE picture on my bday. i guess it's kind of the same reason i haven't really taken any pics around australia. i'm too busy living life... can't be bothered with stopping and trying to document everything. but i will try to be slightly more conscientious. i know everyone wants to see my memories in the making :)
OH, and i just have to note that i got some of the most random birthday wishes via facebook! like... people i haven't spoken to in years and years (from high school and earlier). it was nice, but random.
ok. all for now.
love you all!
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